I have had similar struggles with boundaries. I do not think setting boundaries was wrong. They should be set and reinforced. It may have been better to have a conversation in person rather than text. It’s more difficult, but it allows you to read body language and make adjustments. I had an in person conversation that was rough but it led to more dialogue in the future. There is no easy way to do it, especially when expectations differ. Everyone grows up with a personal parenting approach and it shapes our expectations for future interactions as a parent and grandparent.